My favorite frauds tell you that's what they are up front, so you can just enjoy the art. Anyway...
At great expense to myself, I have uncovered a previously unknown book by Aliester Crowley hirself, Liber Pocus:
Liber Pocus: Concerning the Ritual of the Hokey Pokey, Being a Treatise upon the Middle Pillar
In the Abyss of Foolishness, the Adept laughs. Yea, verily, the Fool dances in his own Chaos, and knoweth not that the Dance is Divine.
Inward and Outward, O Thou Seeker of Balance!
Thou art bid to place thy right hand in, and lo! it is as Kether descending into Malkuth, the Crown unto the Kingdom. Does not the Magician extend his will unto the world, yet retracteth his hand when the work is done? Thus, the Middle Pillar is made manifest—neither wholly extended, nor utterly withdrawn. This is the first step in the Great Work: to put in and take out, ever mindful of the Balance.
Thou Turnest Thyself Around!
And what is this turning, if not the Revolutions of the Sphere? Is it not the turning of the Wheel of Fortune? Yea, I say unto thee, it is the Dance of the Aeons. For the world turns, and so must Thou. Thou art not a fixed point, but a motion—a spiral of becoming! The Great Work is neither stagnation nor idle whim; it is turning thyself about that brings completion to the Circle. Thou art at the Center, and from thence thou dost radiate! To turn is to align thyself with the Cosmic Flow, which turneth within and without.
Do the Hokey Pokey and Behold!
Now Thou hast reached the Mystery: What is the Hokey Pokey, but the Sacred Act? It is the Ritual Dance of Life, wherein the Initiate—unbeknownst—participates in the cosmic drama. The vulgar call it 'child's play,' yet the Wise see therein the entirety of the Middle Pillar. For to place oneself in and to draw oneself out, to turn and revolve, is the very essence of the Work. What is this but the Dance of the Planets in their Spheres? The body is the instrument of the Divine Will, and in the Hokey Pokey, the Adept becomes the Laughter of Nuit, which is ever joy.
For This Is What It’s All About!
Yea, verily! It hath been revealed unto thee! The philosophers mutter of their stones and sages grope at their formulae, but all is contained within this single act of Turning Thyself About. Thou dost balance the forces of Severity and Mercy, extending the hand unto the world, yet knowing the moment of withdrawal. Thus art thou stabilized upon the Middle Pillar, and this—is what it’s all about! The Mystery is unveiled, the Fool dances in ecstasy, and the secret of secrets is revealed to be naught but a joyful turning.
Herein lies the paradox: that the most solemn act of the Magician is also his most ridiculous. For in the laughter of the Fool, the universe is undone and remade, and what was thought folly becomes Wisdom. Thou dost turn thyself about, and in so doing, thou turnest the Wheel of the Cosmos. Yea, the Hokey Pokey is the Rite of Balance! The middle path between Mind and Matter, between Chaos and Order.
Thus Sayeth the Prophet: Do the Hokey Pokey, and Be Ye Whole.
– ΑΛΕΙΣΤΗΡ ΤΟ ΜΕΓΑ ΠΕΡΙΣΤΡΟΦΗ
Note to the Initiate:
Be ye warned: in the simplicity of the dance lies the abyss of profundity.
STL's Note: Don't believe me? Explain this image I found to prove the point I wanted to prove which also has no academic backing:
Checkmate, skeptics.